Days 3 & 4 -Slight improvement

I was a slacker and did not complete the assignments I had assigned myself.  My mom and I took the kids to the zoo.  Overall it was a great day.  It was nice to get to spend time with my family.  Kevin tried to give me a hard time about going but it dissolved pretty quickly.  Basically, in exchange for him not giving me an ass chewing about going with my family, I owed him sex when I got home.  He told me that he wouldn't chew me out for going, but if my family comes in "his" house that "I am going to lose it."  We had that fight earlier in the day and several times prior in the relationship.  Since it is his house, I don't really have any rights.  So, I can't have company and if I do, they are restricted as to how long they can stay, how frequent they come over, what parts of the house they can enter and how loud they talk.  I feel like I am 14 years old.

Anyways, of course I fulfilled my duties last night when I got home.  I tried really hard to enjoy it but I really couldn't.  I am starting to feel like such a doormat.  It's like he doesn't see me as anything but a hole and a mouth to put his dick in.  I had to pitch a fit for him to even touch me.  I guess I am just always supposed to give him whatever he wants at my own expense.  I suppose, however, that is what I have vowed myself to do for the next 57 days, so I can't complain all that much.  It just feels like the more I try to give, the more he violates my boundaries.  I am starting to feel like I might not be able to sustain this for the next 57 days.  It is already taking a toll on my being.

It really annoyed me this morning that he woke me up for sex.  At least he touched some other parts of my body this time.  I was starting to wonder if he noticed there was a body attached to my vagina.  So this was a slight improvement.  I had offered for him to work today so that he could take Kayson and his family to the zoo.  He has been so consumed in his work that he really needed the time to get away.  He tried to start in on me about going with my family and not taking Kayson, but that actually dissolved pretty quickly, although I was upset for a good part of the day.  I didn't bother him all day.  He was actually in a good mood when he got back.  He made an effort to carry on a conversation with me which was  a pleasant surprise.  We stayed up kind of late because of course he wanted sex and I obliged as I had committed myself to do. So, I will give the day a 5/10.  It is an improvement of the usual 2/10.